Puzzle
by Sully-van
Summary: "I wish I had never met you." And, as they say, be careful what you wish for. AU. Kanda/Allen.


**Puzzle.**

**Summary: **"I wish I had never met you." They were both puzzle's with a few of the major pieces missing.

* * *

**Chapter 1.**

_His eyes were cruel, much crueler than the other had ever seen them in the time that the two had known one another._

_They were cruel, hollow-looking, and almost sunken in from a severe lack of sleep._

_The room was coated in a thick veil of silence; it had been for the past fifteen minutes. The older of the two staring at the other and the younger with the hollow eyes staring at the floor - and then -_

"I wish I had never met you."

_And, as they say, be careful what you wish for._

* * *

Gray eyes snapped open and Allen Walker sat up straight, his back erect. His shoulder length white-gray hair was sticking to his face from the sweat that was rolling down his scalp and neck. His hands were curled up into fists underneath the comforter, both of them – one a light color matching the most of his body and the other an oddly colored midnight black– had a bit of sheet in them.

He stared at the dark blue comforter in front of him for a few minutes, blinking only a few times and breathing in through his nose.

Something was wrong.

Very, very…wrong.

He couldn't even explain it, but something…something was missing. Something had gone and left during his sleep and he couldn't place his tongue on it. That something had woken him up. He felt empty, but that was nothing new for Mr. Allen Walker.

Allen's eyes flickered to the red-on-black alarm that was on his bedside table.

12:47.

It was officially Monday.

A defeated sigh escaped from his lips as his head hit the pillow once again, the 20 year old turning on his side, one of his hands – the normal colored one – reaching to cover himself back up with the comforter.

His mind never wandered away from the feeling that filled his chest. That crushing feeling that seemed to spread continuously, infecting other parts while it spread.

He fell back into a restless sleep about an hour later.

* * *

He asked Lenalee about it in the morning.

"Do you feel weird? Like… Like something's missing?" he had asked after a few seconds of silence, looking down at the warm cup of tea that was cradled in gloved hands.

Lenalee took a minute before answering, her tongue darting out to lick some of the whip cream that had coated her upper lip while she drank her warm hot chocolate, her dark-green eyes looking straight at Allen.

"What do you mean, Al?" asked Lenalee Lee, her eyebrows knitted together ever-so-slightly. Her long black hair was down for once and not in the usual pony-tails that the Chinese woman was fond of.

"Like…Like you're forgetting something – or someone!" He resisted the urge to drop his drink and inter-tangle his hands into his hair.

This feeling was not good for him. It made him feel unlike himself.

"Well," his 21 year old best-friend started, the sound of a soft 'clink' of her drink touching the table as she stretched the silence out a little longer. "Yeah, kind of? I don't think I forgot anyone though. But something's itching at the back of my mind and I can't really think of what it is… Why? Are you okay Allen?"

He gulped down some drink. "I… I don't know. I woke up last night and something was wrong. Gone. I can't remember. I don't know if it's a person I'm forgetting or what? Maybe I forgot to turn off the oven."

Lenalee rolled her eyes at the overly sarcastic tone that Allen had used for that last sentence. "Allen, this is serious! I'm worried about you."

Allen let a small, fake smile out after taking a very deep breath that came out shakily, for Lenalee's sake, because in all of the years that he had known the woman, he had never liked seeing her upset.

"I'm… I'm sure it's fine Lenalee. I can deal with it."

"Don't smile, please, Allen... I don't want you to have to deal with this alone, Allen. You know I'm always here for you right, no matter what?"

She had reached over to grasp at Allen's hand, which Allen patted softly.

"Yes, I know."

He really did appreciate the gesture from Lenalee, because she really was showing him genuine kindness from her heart, like she always seemed to do, but he doubted he would actually ask her for help… But she would probably try to help anyways, because she seemed to know when he wasn't exactly alright emotionally or mentally. She always seemed to know when his smiles were fake, which never failed to shock him, because his poker faces were _perfect_.

"What feels wrong about it Allen?"

Allen looked down at his cup of tea once more; avoiding the intense gaze that Lenalee had sent him. She saw his hesitation.

"You don't have to tell me now if you don't want to."

He nodded his head twice, his hand still on top of Lenalee's.

A soft beeping filled the air and Lenalee sighed unhappily, sliding her hand from under Allen's and reaching into her pocket, pulling out a phone.

"I have to go work." She said, turning off the alarm and slipping it back into her jacket pocket. "Sorry."

"It's fine, Lenalee."

"No it isn't." she continued, stubbornly. "I don't have work tomorrow though. Pizza, my place?"

He stood up, the chair screeching against the tile floor of the café. "Yeah, sound's good." Feelings of massive forgetfulness or not, and knowing that Lenalee might question him, Allen Walker never, ever rejected an offer of food. "I have work until 5, though."

"7 sound good?" She said, also standing up and walking towards the door before Allen, who followed after her, did.

"Sounds great."

"See you then!" she said, flashing him one of her bright smiles when they were out of the café and on the side-walk, her arms wrapping around his torso and hugging him tight, as if she didn't want to let him go, which he laughed half-heartedly at, returning the gesture. "Bye, Allen."

"Goodbye, Lenalee." She started to walk away, waving as she did.

Allen turned away when he saw Lenalee turn the corner and when he did so, he saw a tall person with black hair even longer than Lenalee's, but they were gone the next second.

* * *

Allen ended up returning home, the thought from the before still heavy on his mind.

His keys jingled in his pocket lightly with every step he took, just loud enough for him to hear.

The front door unlocked easily and he closed the door behind him, sliding down onto the floor, head pressed firmly to the door, bringing his knees up close to his chest.

He hated this feeling in his chest. It was intense and unwanted and he had no clue how it had come back like this all of a sudden, five times as worse as the last time.

And he really didn't want to remember the last time he felt something that could even rival this feeling.

He could hear his little yellow parakeet, Timcanpy squawking from the other room, his small wings most likely beating lightly in excitement as he flew towards Allen, seeing as the man never bothered locking the bird up in a cage during the day, heavily trusting the bird that he had owned for little over a two years now, having had found him in a pet shop he walked past maybe two months after officially moving to America.

Oh, how he wished he never had never been forced to leave England.

Sure enough, Timcanpy flew over, singing a little tune, landing on Allen's left arm that was crossed over his knees.

"Hi Tim," Allen greeted, extending a finger over Tim's feathered head, which the bird nuzzled into, before looking back at Allen, as if asking 'how are you today?'

"I…I could be better." He paused. "Things… things are just complicated."

But complicated was a major understatement and he knew it.

His eyes closed and the empty feeling in his chest continued to soar.

* * *

**A/N**: Hello and welcome to 'Puzzle.'

To be honest, I am pretty nervous about posting this, for my own reasons, but I decided to go through with it in the end!

Now, this isn't exactly a happy story, despite my cheerful attitude and what not, but I'm guessing if you managed to get to this point, you figured that out already. And Kanda isn't really in this story yet, but he will be next chapter, which is already in process.

Oh, and there **will** be Poker Pair (Tyki/Allen). Just a warning if you don't like that pairing, but it's actually very necessary, but that will be revealed in all do time.

I got this idea while think of the movie _'Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind_', a movie that I enjoyed vastly... This fanfiction is loosely based on that movie.

If you can, please tell me what you think of this story? I will appreciate it a lot! Con-crit is more than welcome!


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